Cheese...

It's family portrait time. As you can see, this continues to be a futile effort. Exhibit A: Youngest child refuses to put basket down. And when asked to smile decides to make the most un-smiling face that she can. Well played small one.

Exhibit B: So I give up on youngest child, give her a sucker and try to get child B to cooperate for a second. But older child now decides that mere smiling is clearly not the appropriate response for a photograph. She is now a broadway star. Complete with jazz hands. And I am giving her my best, "I'm attempting to restrain you with a faux hug intended to keep you in position" hug. It doesn't work. We look like we're ready to take a ride on Space Mountain.



What I need here is a LITTLE less enthusiasm from big sister, a little more spark from little sister, and we'd have ourselves a nice little family photo. Not. going. To. Happen. So I take control of the camera, photographer that I am, and here's what I get. Not one, but TWO kidlets ready for a fantastic voyage. What ever happened to just saying "cheese???"

hypocrite!

I've been sustaining myself on Red Vines and Diet Cherry Coke. I know, I know, it seems counterintuitive. Because I'm putting all of this effort into exercise and running this soul-stealing half marathon again in June. I can't explain it. Other than I've been living out of my car for the past month and every gas station in rural Iowa carries these dietary staples. Gone are the days of eating 3-hour old gas station pizza for lunch. No, I've moved on and up in the world, I wouldn't dream of such atrocities. Now I settle for nothing less than artificial red coloring and cherry flavors.

And then I was using Google images to find a picture of Red Vines and I discovered they sell them in bulk- in a huge cannister! And now all I can think about is where do I find this Holy Grail of junk food? I've got to have it! Red Vines at my disposal ALL THE TIME!!?? I could start using them for everyday tasks! This is the most excited I've been since that time I found out those huge muffins from the Walmart bakery were only two weight watcher points! And then I told everyone about it and all my friends were eating them. And then it was discovered that each muffin was three servings... and consequently not just two points... exactly. And suddenly it sort of looked like it was my fault that people weren't losing weight. And the angry masses turned on me. Judas'es. But before all that I was super excited at my stellar find. Anyway, the point is I need a tub o' vines asap.

changes

More is changing around here than just the seasons!

I feel like I've been swamped lately (hence the absence here), but it's always like that this time of year with my job.

But I've also been busy with some bigger life changes!

As many of you know I moved out of the house I owned over a year ago. Nice though it was, I just couldn't stand the thought of living there. I had changed the locks since the ex had moved out, but I never felt safe. I never felt like I had privacy. So I found a cute little rental house and moved my daughters and I into it. Little did I know it would take 16 months to sell my house and I'd be stuck paying for two houses all that time. But, we battened down the budget and made it work. When my lease came up after a year, I had some careful considerations to make. After much thought and discussion, my boyfriend and I decided to live together. So, I packed the girls up and we moved in with him. It's a scary thing moving in with someone. I guess the only other time I have lived with someone is when I moved in with my husband. We both owned little other than the clothes on our backs, and we purchased a place together. So it's different later in life. I had a house full of stuff. Things that you love, things that you spend years accumulating. And he had a house full of stuff. And now we had to navigate the logistical (and sometimes emotional) part of blending those things. That, and for the first time, I don't own the place I live. And when you've come to rely on only yourself for security and stability- it's tough to go into that situation. Most of my former life got packed into boxes and placed in storage. I guess you can mourn the loss of your old stuff, or you can look at it as a new life and a clean slate. That's the route I've chosen and fast forward 2 months and I'm happy to report that we're all doing well! It seems easier than I remember, living with someone. I would guess that's because the two personalities involved this time are much more compatible. I can admit, I was afraid of change and afraid of moving my two daughters into a new place. But I try to be very aware that I can't have been the only one with fears. Imagine having a house to yourself for most of your life and suddenly having three new faces greeting you every morning! I guess I'm grateful that we both looked past our fears and concerns, otherwise we wouldn't be where we are today!

Second, I puchased a new vehicle! Well, not NEW new, but new to me new! It's basically the first time in my life that I've had the opportunity to go out and get exactly what I want and it felt great! My first car my dad picked, my 2nd car I picked but on a VERY limited 20-year olds budget. My third car and last car (the minivan) my ex had a strong voice in. I researched cars for 6 months- features, reviews and prices. I narrowed it down. I test drove them. And then I walked into a dealership, by myself, and negotiated and purchased it. And I can only say, be still my heart... I am smitten! It's a 2008 Nissan Pathfinder. It's comfortable, it has some wonderful features that are just spoiling me, and it's pretty!



Tis the season for change I guess! Maybe I better research some new hair colors!

My loves

Sometimes you look at your child and it can just take your breath away. Something about their expression or their voice or even just one little feature- the shape of their hand or the crook of their smile- can look so eerily familiar! My precious girls are very different from one another. Grace is outgoing and dramatic and princess and glitter and glamorous! She's creative and smart as a whip. She's a leader and she hates to disappoint people! She's emotional and can have the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. Millie is different. She's sweet and funny. She has an earnest way about her. She's typically soft spoken and loving. She's tough and physical. And stubborn. But loving and loyal. And she often has a somber expression, like she's just absorbing life around her, taking it all in, but doesn't have much to say about it for now. There are little things about each of them that remind me of me. Sometimes when Grace is so excited about the littelest thing and talking on and on about it- I can remember being that way! And sometimes when Millie is laying her silky hair on my shoulder and looking so sweet and somber, I feel like I am looking at a time warped picture of me when I was that age!

Here's my Grace, always writing, drawing, coloring or doing her "homework" as she says.


And here's my Millie. Wearing her shades and dancing- like listening to Beyonce' and groovin is the most serious business in the world. She has no interest in drawing in the car, she'd rather look out the window or just put her shades on and chill.



Funny funny funny kids! I love them so!

A little about love

Today I'm talking about love. For no other reason than I heard this old song again yesterday and I love it!!!

Here are the lyrics, and you know my favorite part is where he says, "Standing by her man even when he's wrong." To me, this just screams love. When you have someone that stands by you, has your back, EVEN when you're being stubborn, or wrong or foolish- that's love. That's trust and staying power. There's no story behind this post today- just deep thoughts and a good tune on Thursday! :)


My baby knows me better than I do
Funny how a woman has that over a man
I can do anything with her beside me
Leaning on her is where I make my stand

Chorus

Where would we be without the love of a woman
Standing behind her man even when he's wrong
The true pure undying love of a woman
Makes a man a fool to think he can make it alone.

Verse 2

My daddy was a wild one when he was younger
Everybody told my mam he'd be hard to tame
Full of himself, he said sir to nobody
But you outta see him come runnin' when mama calls his name

Repeat Chorus
Whoa ya

Verse 3

A man goes crazy trying to catch his feelings
Too much pride and maybe the words come out wrong
But that's ok cause he's still her hero
Steady as a rock her love keeps rolling along

Repeat Chorus

Makes a man a fool to think he can make it alone
hmmmmmmm

just a photo

I love these two little stinkers so much!!!